This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize
