It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Randomize
