In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
You're earring is so big in my mouth
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
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