Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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