On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Operation Purity has been aborted
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
My feet surprised me
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