I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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