dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
