i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Randomize