please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Mom said you looked used
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize