I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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