On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
