This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
