Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
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