is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
