spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Randomize
