If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
