I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
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