My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
