Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
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