Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
