at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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