no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
