I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
