11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
I understand Curling. That high.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Randomize
