I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
