for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
