Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
