she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Randomize
