You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
