Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
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