very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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