i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize