I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Randomize
