If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Randomize
