My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Randomize