Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Randomize
