why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
