I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
pop tarts are not kleenex
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
