I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
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