Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
