I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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