how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
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