You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I stole a fireplace last night.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Randomize
