I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
