Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Randomize
