Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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