did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
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