The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Randomize
