she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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