May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
