You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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