And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
