Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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