Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Randomize
