Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize