so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Boobs speak an international language.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
