My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
My vagina is very pro this idea
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
