i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
