YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
