That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
You pole danced in your parka.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
