24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
