If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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